Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize