Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
