She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
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