what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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