You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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