I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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