I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
