she peed on how many people?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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