We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize