Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
