16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
