suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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