so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
