woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
