Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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