every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
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after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
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So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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