I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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