That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
