Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
