apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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