I accidentally burped into my bong.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
