the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
