She is in my trunk
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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