But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
