He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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