dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
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