Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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