Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
