We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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