and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
