if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
