They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize