my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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