My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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