I'm laying in your front yard are you home
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
