That's intense
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
