Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
