The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
