so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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