uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
