I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize