Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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