she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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