What did we do last night that was yellow?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
