we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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