i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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