You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize