I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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