In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
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