he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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