I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
