Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
