She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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