Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
