ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
