I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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