i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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