Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
