Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Is it penis luge time yet?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
